I know I'm in another trap of someone's communism.
I can only do so much in one day. I'd love to go back to work. I'd love to have better things to do with my time.
The internet really isn't that boring. It's just the fact that it doesn't get me to anywhere I would want to be in life. In this computer age, not many people are impressed by one's internet and tv capability.
I have done other things in my time to be productive. I'm still having a try with my crafts. I went to one gallery today to ask about displaying some of my mosaics. A couple of reasons it won't work: No current available space. It was not a completely authentic work of art. I have to pay to display and I'm too broke right now.
It wasn't authentic because I did not handmake my boxes and frames. I did not hand make the beads that I use to make my mosaics. She suggested glass although she didn't think my artwork was bad. She even added that a few other mosaic artists make their own glass.
Personally and literally, I think they are a little extreme with the authenticity factor. Even if I were to design the box and frame, the finished piece is not purposed as a professional box or frame. It is the mosaic itself that I'm trying to be artisitic with.
I think I may still have a potential of another location that is not as concerned with authenticity.
Cattily, I scoff at her in her judgement. I could tell it was an already planned and scripted conversation. I say the same thing I always say: my life in this local small town is rigged, I'd survive better somewhere else.
She tries to make me jealous with people as well as belittle me to say I'm of "high school age." This is where I play my usual: not intelligent judge card.
When a smart person gets abused, that person will keep things to themselves and OMG! They will gossip too! OMG gossip is the devil and completely ruins a person and their entire being when they gossip! (I'm being sarcastic).
People are just pissed because I refuse to be either vulnerable or answer to their "authority."
This is getting ridiculous. People ignore the huge problem of reality and cheaply practically say. "I'm a loser because I gossip."
Obama, I'm going to need more help here in beating some reasonableness into people's minds. I am not anyones subject. It is my choice who I want and don't want to share myself with. Who I trust. Who I want to be vulnerable with. My choice.
Even after I had my say (and even in plenty of other situations where I am obvious, wear my heart on my sleeve and don't get credit for my assertions) she played the victim card, and I was ready as usual with my other defense: "I don't live to judge people. If you mess with my survival, yes there will be a problem."
Because I'm poor, I'm having to conserve on everything including gas. I think I will wait one more day to make one big trip for art display attempts and job applications.
